Getting Stronger at 16: I MISS YOU ALREADY

It hasn't been easy in fact it's a bit scary having a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.   I suffered one month of depression and loneliness (that is why I don't have a post about our 15 MONTHSARY).  And what makes it worse is our communication is not that good as compared in the past.   I know I had to be strong in my stand that my partner has his obligations and duty to his works  but you cannot blame me if I think so negatively.

DOUBT?  Yes, I am doubtful now.  I do trust him but I guess you can say that it's also my biggest regret for not conquering these demons inside my mind. A bit fearful with this relationship but today really isn't the right time to end a wonderful relation that starts with a beautiful friendship.

To start I have to STOP my negative thoughts and look back what we have from the past.  After the one month space we have(no communication), I finally realize that I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY and I MISS HIM ALREADY.

photo credit: chiarashine via photopin cc

We should STOP our childish attitudes and start again with a NEW STORY in our LIFE.  For the first time the emptiness inside me was GONE.  Knowing that he LOVES ME MORE and he UNDERSTAND my LONGING.  I cannot imagine trying to cope up with my LIFE alone again.

  photo credit: Conor Keller | fortysixtyphoto.com via photopin cc

I can hardly say that I have a NEW LIFE with him.  And with GOD, He gives us an assurance that HE IS IN CONTROL and HE give us a NEW BEGINNING to start all over again.    

A wonderful beginning of a VAPING RELATIONSHIP.  Happy 16th MONTHSARY PALABZ.

Clouds Above Us: It's our 14th today!!!

Clouds Above Us: It's our 14th today!!!: Photo credit to Cake Central If this is not LOVE then explain to me this feeling I have right now.  I don't know what LOVE TRULY is....

It's our 14th today!!!

Photo credit to Cake Central

If this is not LOVE then explain to me this feeling I have right now.  I don't know what LOVE TRULY is.  All I know is that I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and I WON'T LET YOU GO.

You're PERFECT for me.  I hope you will be the ONE for me FOREVER.  

We have gone so far and we NEED each other everyday.  I HOPE you're HAPPY with ME as I am with YOU.

HAPPY 14th MONTHSARY PALABZ!  I LOVE YOU.

photo credit: Dvortygirl via photo pin cc

Clouds Above Us: It's our 13th Today

Clouds Above Us: It's our 13th Today: For almost 3 days I don't have communication with my partner. Thank God he texted me  yesterday morning saying his okey and nothing to wo...

It's our 13th Today

For almost 3 days I don't have communication with my partner.

Thank God he texted me  yesterday morning saying his okey and nothing to worry.  Problem with his connection he said.

It really bothers me when someone you love suddenly gone for a day without a reason.  Mixed emotions transpired, afraid if something bad happened. 

Many questions arise; one of this is, WHY DID HE SUDDENLY STOP TEXTING/CALLING ME?  I am not a mind reader that I can easily guess what other person think.  I know texting and calling constantly is a pain in the ass.  Guys don't like this, they avoid habitual texting and calling back and forth, I know that.  I am not selfish but I want to know that he is still there for me.  A kind of affection that I wanted in a man.  I want him always on my side.

    
Celebrating our 13th Monthsary without him is really sad.  But I am happy that he called.  

Maybe I am just over reacting having that kind of thinking.  It might that I have to let go of that weird feelings.  

The reality is that any area of our SOCIAL LIFE happened to have that GUILT and FEAR.  But I have to look like that I am letting him do whatever he wants.  Maybe I am just a bit so strict and afraid.  Afraid of being alone again.

I have to be nonreactive of all the things going on now.  So that I can easily see the clarity of the situation.  No more doubts and I will make my self-fulfilling prophecy.  It may seem a little delusional but it is just an assumption to make how other person feels about.  

And finally one of the best thing I can do even if he is not here for now, I will make sure that I have a full and enjoyable fun life.  

Happy 13th monthsary palabz.  Love you.  

   

Clouds Above Us: DEACTIVATED LOVE

Clouds Above Us: DEACTIVATED LOVE: Love that has to stop...   I didn't really have the time, but I stopped for a while: Sometimes, you just need to stop for a while and ...

DEACTIVATED LOVE

Love that has to stop...  

I didn't really have the time, but I stopped for a while:

Sometimes, you just need to stop for a while and look around at all the beautiful things in your life.

But I will never STOP loving you, just deactivated for the meantime.

ALONE

ALONE

ALONE

ALONE

ALONE

He's not around.  He's at work.  

I miss him a lot.  

I don't want to feel sad because I know he is just there working.  But I feel so lonely right now.  I start my day with him and end it with him alone.

I really, really miss you Palabz.   

Hope you're doing good.

Maybe by Neocolours (w/ lyrics)

My partners favorite song.

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY PALABZ

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY PALABZ

HAPPY 1st ANNIVERSARY PALABZ

To the love of my life Miguel:

Today is a very special day that is engraved in my memory because it is the day we started our relationship. Meeting you is the best thing that has happened to me. From the start of our relationship you have proved you are the love I always waited for. Your smile is enough to cheer my days. Your company is the best recipe against loneliness.

I cannot imagine my life without you: I think I would not care about anything because you make me want to be better. My heart and soul belong to you. When I am with you nothing else matters and there is only you and me. Nothing in the world compares to our love because there is no one else like you on earth.

Happy anniversary, love of my life. Let us make a pledge to love each other until our last day. I love you now and forever.

I love you. Happy 1st anniversary Palabz.

Very Special Box

Very Special Box

Very Special Box

What made this gift so special?  The thought of giving this to me and how it was handed.  And the inscription written on the box:

This is a very special gift 

That you can never see 

The reason it's so special is 

It's just for you from me. 

Whenever you are lonely 

Or are ever feeling blue 

You only have to hold this gift 

And know I'm hugging you. 

You never can unwrap it 

Please leave the ribbon tied 

Just hold the box close to your heart 

It's filled with hugs inside.

But the problem is I already open the box and see what's inside.  Hehehehe.  But anyway thanks so much Palabz for this wonderful gift, I know you are doing your best and I really appreciate it.  I love you. 

 

From Now On.....

From Now On.....

From Now On.....

I will post my daily activities with my partner as we journey together for almost a year in this world.

We are from 2 different worlds: Jean is from the world of LOVE. Miguel is from the world of RESPECT. We are a happy couple. We are enjoying our lives, at the same time, exploring and trying to find the home of our careers.  


Every 20th of the month we celebrate our Monthsary. We see to it that we are celebrating our monthsary together.  Though sometimes work is always there to hinder us.  But nevertheless we took time to celebrate it even if we are apart.


Through internet is the easiest way to communicate if he goes to work far away from me. We think DISTANCE as part of our RELATIONSHIP.  A colorful part that made us stronger facing life problems.  We don't think that DISTANCE is a problem but an ingredient that helps us grow together.

Since we won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. We tell each other about our little triumphs and tragedies. Ask on for advice. Use our instant messenger program or FACEBOOK for real-time chat, or YAHOO web cams for that visual connection. E-mail is great so we make sure we use it, especially long-distance phone calls put a strain in our budget. We ensure that our e-mails are substantive and detailed, it will help us show that we care enough to put in the time and effort. We do still write love letters. Send small gifts, cards, or he sends me flowers for no reason. 
In this case, quantity is as important as quality. We may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand—we don't take communication for granted!

Sometimes I miss his presence but I will think that he is just near me, so close enough to hug and kiss me.

FIX YOU

FIX YOU

FIX YOU

Fix You is the first song you've shared for me when I was down that time.  And it really made me cry because of all the things that happened to me you are there for me no matter what.

....Lights will guide you home and Ignite your bones and I will try to fix you....