22 Monthsary, Still Getting Stronger

Just this morning as I open my Facebook account a message from my beloved boyfriend pops in and I am happy reading his message.

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MIGUEL Luv u
MIGUEL Happy 22....

Love really begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. Don't worry, it begins again with a text!!

Celebrating our 22 now!  A beautiful message could definitely bring a smile in our partner's face. Even if we're living apart, technology has made it very easy for us to continue our communication.  Keeping in touch  truly opened our doors to express our feelings and thoughts to one another.

I really miss him, how I wish to watch the sunrise with him until the sunset of our life.  

Someday we will be together, 12 months in a year...30 days in a month..7 days in a week...24 hours in a day...60 minutes an hour...mixed with happiness, faith, wisdom, understanding, a pint of hope and a handful of loved topped with lots of smile and happiness with him alone.

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Happy 22th Monthsary Palabz.  

I love you more.

CAROUSEL OF LIFE

Listening to the music video of Vanessa Carlton, CAROUSEL.  I thought it was a literal carousel that we usually see at a carnival.  But upon listening to the lyrics of the song is all about LOVERS who are brokenhearted.

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For all you brokenhearted lovers lost Go find another one Cause you know time won't wait and you'll be late White rabbit's on the run 

But for me this song is perfect for this Lenten Season.  It's not for the lover's only but the relationship we have with Jesus.  The Lord Jesus is close to brokenhearted, he saves us all who are crushed in spirit.  

We have our own carousels in life.  If we loved much we give our all.  And we have time to depart if we cannot longer carry the burden, even if we don't know where to go.

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This is how JESUS loves us so much, even if He is perfect, no sin at all but still He gives us his life just to SAVE us.

To find another one is to seek renewal with your relationship with JESUS.  To be reborn and start your new life with Christ because you will never know when the time ends.

White rabbits on the run means here TIME SLIPPING or MIND FLOATING.  The idea of having to choose between BAD or GOOD.   You are at the stage of DOUBTFULNESS within yourself.  Or having your own belief that you have the power to dominate your life. This is very difficult to handle, dominating over your own life is like climbing up onto a ladder in either way you have to go up because of the SUCCESS or to fall down.

The song really depicts our life now. It is well written and have a better idea what is LIFE without JESUS.

Watch video here and listen to its lyric.  Then tell me your own translation of the song.    

Video credit to VANESSA CARLTON VEVO CHANNEL

TIME TO SUCCUMB

There's no healing we need pressure.

I shall not succumb to temptation. Is trying to resist evil and soon after, the guilt is there to feel me what I've done is extremely bad.

I don't want this, committing the mistakes over and over again.  Yes, it challenges me and hold me accountable. I struggled so much to fight it but it ended me questioning myself, am I bad?

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However, I started to realize that having this kind of problem with your partner is just normal and need not to have self pity and inner struggle.  Communicating is the KEY here.

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That sometimes even if we are committed to someone, we still need to have our own decisions.

I must submit the desire that I have. I can't think of a day having this kind of struggle.  But I believe that TIME will come and I don't have to repeat the mistakes again.

Please PRAY for me been trying so hard though its seriously damage my LIFE and it is a problem that I can't ignore.

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email letter from a friend  

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT

Give a man love, and he will be happy for a time. Teach a man how to love, and he will have joy through all eternity.

I don't know how to start this but hope to end this post nicely.

I thought I would have no problem finding love for the second time.  I thought I can carry this by myself.  I thought it was easy to handle such relationship.  Just when I thought I had everything and now I'm practically losing it.

Or is just a simple "I THOUGHT"???

January 20 is our 18 MONTHSARY.  I waited so much for his call; seconds, minutes, hours and  days no call coming from him.

Then suddenly phone rings and I hurried to receive the call. I thought he was the one calling but apparently the call is intended for my mom.

I want to scream and shout let my anguish be gone.

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I need someone to talk to!!!!!  Please???????

Suddenly somebody opens the door and walks towards me.  Both are with teary eyed and I embrace him then slap him. I slapped him because I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER.

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But again, thanks GOD all is just my thoughts.  Thoughts that drive me crazy.

(Just missing each other after the BIG FIGHT.)

TOO MANY WALLS

So many hindrances and so little time.  Why are there so many obstacles in our LIFE?

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I know these are common to us. Someone will say, spices of life.  But why they exist NOBODY KNOWS.

Live your LIFE to the fullest.  Love the man whom you trust.  We have to roll with the situation at hand.  Even it hurts you have to understand that it has a meaning, never to stop loving that person.  This is actually true, in my case I learn to understand that life is like a book with so many chapters and pages.  Some seem to stop at a difficult chapter not knowing that there is a better chapter ahead.  Maybe that is why there are TOO MANY WALLS around us, it is because we are all TESTED?

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THIS IS LIFE.  Many Obstacles. Many Walls. But we have to go over it and be MORE STRONGER because nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, or pain and difficulty!

      

Getting Stronger at 16: I MISS YOU ALREADY

It hasn't been easy in fact it's a bit scary having a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.   I suffered one month of depression and loneliness (that is why I don't have a post about our 15 MONTHSARY).  And what makes it worse is our communication is not that good as compared in the past.   I know I had to be strong in my stand that my partner has his obligations and duty to his works  but you cannot blame me if I think so negatively.

DOUBT?  Yes, I am doubtful now.  I do trust him but I guess you can say that it's also my biggest regret for not conquering these demons inside my mind. A bit fearful with this relationship but today really isn't the right time to end a wonderful relation that starts with a beautiful friendship.

To start I have to STOP my negative thoughts and look back what we have from the past.  After the one month space we have(no communication), I finally realize that I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY and I MISS HIM ALREADY.

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We should STOP our childish attitudes and start again with a NEW STORY in our LIFE.  For the first time the emptiness inside me was GONE.  Knowing that he LOVES ME MORE and he UNDERSTAND my LONGING.  I cannot imagine trying to cope up with my LIFE alone again.

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I can hardly say that I have a NEW LIFE with him.  And with GOD, He gives us an assurance that HE IS IN CONTROL and HE give us a NEW BEGINNING to start all over again.    

A wonderful beginning of a VAPING RELATIONSHIP.  Happy 16th MONTHSARY PALABZ.

Clouds Above Us: It's our 14th today!!!

Clouds Above Us: It's our 14th today!!!: Photo credit to Cake Central If this is not LOVE then explain to me this feeling I have right now.  I don't know what LOVE TRULY is....